Life doesn’t go as planned – I am a living example for it, we all are. Did I think I wouldn’t pass my exam and delay my graduation for 6 months? No. Did I think that even more unpleasant things would happen? No. No, I really didn’t. I am struggling. A lot. Nothing feels right. My head is stuck in the sand. And you know what? I am an amazing actor – hiding my feelings? No problem. But I am tired of it. I am so tired. So I take off that mask and tell you – I am not okay. I feel a relief writing it down. And even though everything seems to be very bad right now, there is still this voice in me, whispering that everything is going to be alright. Everything happens for a reason. Every bad equals into more strength. We can’t always fly with the wind. Learn. We can learn from this. I hope that little voice never stops whispering. It will get louder, louder and louder, so that all the doubts and insecurities go away. I am strong. You are strong. We can fly against the wind.
Why I am writing this heavy post? Well, I think we all have dark times in our lives and maybe one of you is out there that reads this and feels some sort of relief knowing that you are not alone. Why only share the glitter, pink and sparkly things, when so often we find ourselves drowning in the dark? Why not help each other to get that head out of the sand and look up to the sun?
And guess what? I want snow! For two days I’ve been dreaming about it, waking up thinking that I will find Freiburg covered in snow behind my window, which hasn’t happened yet. I crave snow. I want to put on my boots and go out. Take a long walk. Make snow angels. And then come home, cuddle up in bed, drink a hot chocolate and warm up.
I feel better know. Writing helps. Thank you for listening.